The hardest questions to answer are the ones about ourselves.

When I was having my quarter-life crisis at the grand age of twenty-eight, I started looking for an answer to this all-important question: What Do I Really Want to Do with My Life? The answer to this probably changes depending on my age. But I knew if anyone asked me on the spot, I would have no answer. I couldn’t live with not having at least one answer to this question. 

After all, shouldn’t this be pretty easy? If you ask me what I want for dinner tonight, I can tell you in less than two seconds (the answer is Pad See Ew). If you ask me what I want to do tomorrow, this Friday night, or on my next trip aboard, I can give you an answer without much hesitation. But when you extend the timeline to an extreme – a Lifetime, it suddenly becomes an almost impossible question to answer. The risk of giving a wrong answer becomes much bigger when the time is extended. Spending Friday night at a boring event would only cost me a couple hours and I can easily recover next day/week, but when it comes to a lifetime – I risk steering my life in the wrong direction! 

Another problem with trying to answer this question is, where do you start? How do you know the logic and reasons you’ve given yourself to answer this question now will still hold truth later? How do you know the choice you make now, which presumably you based your decision on making your future self happy, will satisfy all the needs and desires you’ll actually have in the future? 

The fact is, we can never know for sure. (read more about this topic on Stumbling on Happiness) But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. So I dreamed about doing different things, being different people, and having other’s lives. As you can probably have guessed, day-dreaming and imagining didn’t really resolve anything for me. It felt too … unreal. I needed something more concrete if I were to buy a one-way ticket to my life’s journey. 

Then I draw inspiration from one rather mundane event that happened during that time – a performance review. Not unlike many other companies in the US, Sony in Japan also had performance reviews every six months. Since I was interviewed by my direct superior who I’d worked with closely every single day and knew me inside out, the review process was more or less just a formality. However, one question from the review stood out and lingered in my head days after. 

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Such a simple question, and yet it puts me in the right frame of mind. If I know what it feels like in 5 years of time to be at a certain position, I can at least have a pretty good guess if I will like it or not! 

So not unlike the performance review, I gave myself an interview. 

I pretended to be a journalist for a major magazine, and interviewed my future self in 5 years in different roles that I think I’d like to be in – as a full-time writer, a founder of a software company, a founder of a game studio…etc.

I started with simple questions like, “What is the name of the company” “What is the title of your first novel?” to more specific questions like, “What projects are you working on?” “Who inspired your products / your style?” “How many people are in the company?” “What does your office look like?”. 

Then I wrote down all the questions in as much detail as I could imagine, pretending that I were in those particular positions – as an established writer, a CEO of a software company, a core member at a game studio. The more questions I answered, the more words I put down, the more I felt like I was that person.

I experienced what it was like to be that future me. I learned quickly if I will be happy being that particular person. 

That’s when I decided I am going to start a creative studio, with a small team, flexible location, and focus on independence, creativity, and people. 

If you are also trying to figure out what you want to do, instead of trying to answer that question directly, try interviewing yourself. It’s a quick way for you to understand the “What If’s”, and best of all, it is fun to do :)

Brandon, Why is Sir Richard Branson all over this post?
Why reader, you’ll have to stay tuned to find out!

It’s happening.

Six months into your new entrepreneurial life, your time starts to escape you. You have 2 email accounts ready to explode at any minute, and 12 different ToDo lists on 3 different task management tools. You tell yourself that you’ll reply to Skype messages later. And you’ve given up on listening to all your voice messages. But as the head of the company, leader of the pack, captain of the ship, there is one thing you just can’t give up no matter how busy you are – reading.

More specifically, reading online. Why wouldn’t you want to stay on top of industry news, learn the latest productivity hacks, and find the best free UI design template for your web/app projects? It’s hard to say no to free advice and free resources online when they seem to relate to what your company does. Even remotely. Running an ice cream shop? How can you pass up on this excellent article on “How to Create a Great Header Image for Your Facebook Fan Page!”? Creating an iPhone game? How about “20 Best Free 8-bit Art Resources Online.”?

How-to guides, free resources, expert advice…etc. You can spend hours just reading all theses articles in the name of gaining more knowledge. We all know that feeling of wanting to absorb all the latest information into our brain, our system. I’ve used Delicious, Diigo, Evernote, Zootool…etc in order to bookmark and keep a copy of every free piece of advice I can get. I’ve wasted hours and hours trying to grab every thing out there that has a remote chance of making me more productive, more aware, more resourceful.

But.

The truth is, 99% of what I bookmarked doesn’t matter. They sat in the remote server and never got read again. The only purpose they served was making me feel better when I hit the “bookmark” button. Perhaps it made me feel productive, in-charge, on-top of things.

I call this 99% of information the “Good-to-Know” knowledge, while the 1% that I actually benefit from, is what I’ve labelled the “Need-to-Know” knowledge. The Good-to-Know knowledge makes you feel like you’ve accomplished something while gaining that information, but provides little actual value. The Need-to-Know knowledge provides real insights, changes the way you operates, opens your eyes to new perspectives, drives key decisions, and makes you a better person.

How do you know what is Good-to-Know and what is Need-to-Know? The first step is fairly straightforward. When you look at an article and say to yourself “that’s good, maybe I can use this in the future.” or “it’ll be good to learn how to do this.”, that’s when you are REALLY saying “this is good to know.” So it goes into the GTK box. Need-to-Know items are obvious. They are the ones that if you don’t know about them, your boat could sink.

Another thing to pay attention to when deciding if an article is in the GTK camp or the NTK camp is to look at your role. If your responsibility in your organization is in the technology field, skip the PR and marketing articles. They might be good for you to know, but are not a necessity. For people wearing multiple hats, PRIORITIZE your responsibilities and “read” accordingly.

Be ruthless. Your time is the most valuable asset you have.

p.s. but you just have to keep up with the latest in the industry? I skip Techcrunch / Mashable, and skim the headlines on Techmeme. I also subscribe to two email newsletters – Digital Media Wire and GamesIndustry International. Email newsletters are my favorite as they are usually limited to 5-10 headlines so they have to be picky and find the most important news. Reading them in email form without the potential distractions on the web is also a plus.

“Bond, James Bond, and I am a spy.”

But what happens when you want a different title? What if this thing you want to build requires people with different hats than the one you currently wear? “I have a great idea but I am not a programmer.” “I am a programmer but I can’t design for shit!” Many people stop here. These thoughts have prevented some of the most brilliant ideas from being executed.

If you find yourself in this position, you have two options.

1. Find someone with the right hat to work with you.

If you have the resources (money, network, contacts, power, persuasion skills…etc.), you can hire or partner with people with relevant skills to help with your projects. The challenge is finding the right people who share your value and motivation. This is a topic for another day.

2. Do it yourself!

If you are like most people who are just starting out, you may not have the resources to hire help. But don’t let that stop you, and Just (learn to) Do It!

When I first started Studio Pepwuper, I wanted to go with option 1 and hire people to help me build my games. I spent a few weeks looking at candidates, outsourcing studios, partnering development houses, and eventually found a great candidate that has all the experience needed for the project. But very soon I realized that with the money I had saved up, I could only hire them for 6 months. And if at the end of that 6-month period I didn’t have a game out, or if the game didn’t sell, it would be GAME OVER for the studio. It was too risky of a position to be in and I had to re-evaluate my approach. Instead of hiring out the development, I decided to put my head down and learn to do it myself – learning to code, to make art, and to design. (more on this here & here)

To be frank, it wasn’t easy. It was an 8-month exercise of banging my head against the wall constantly. It was like being back in school, except instead of knowing when the exam is, I had to fight against time – every month in prolonged development was another month of living expenses gone from my savings.

But I did it. I wrote all the codes and got all the art work and music/sound into the project. The game was released. It was done. 

That isn’t the end of the story. The real benefit of doing it yourself is not in getting it done. It’s in all the the side-effects that happen while you are making it happen. I got to learn the in’s and out’s of game development on a tight budget. I understand how to write codes, and more importantly, how to read them, so when I looked for help I knew what to ask for and knew what my team was talking about. I learned to know how long things take so I knew how to better evaluate opportunities and partners. I learned to really appreciate artists and designers and learned that good design and good art takes time. 

And I got to share my experience, through which I got to know many talented, motivated, encouraging, and inspiring individuals. Without this experience I wouldn’t have my current team, and who knows where the studio would be if I hadn’t gone through this 8-month marathon. 

So next time when you think you can’t do something because you are not a programmer, not an artist, not a writer, not a marketer, not a networker, not a public speaker, not a journalist, not a photographer…etc, STOP.  Don’t let your title limit what you can do. You are what you do. And don’t be afraid to spend time learning. There’s rarely any downside to be more skilled, especially in what you want to do. 

Note: I was lucky enough to quit my job with savings that would allow me to survive on pot noodles for at least a few months, but I know that many people don’t have this “luxury”. To you I point you in the direction of Gary Vaynerchuck‘s presentation at the Web 2.0 Expo NY (http://youtu.be/EhqZ0RU95d4).

“If you want this, if you’re miserable, or if you don’t like it or you want to do something else and you have a passion somewhere else. Work nine to five. Spend a couple hours with your family. Seven to two in the morning is plenty of time to do damage. But that’s it. It’s not going to happen any other way. …Everybody has time. Stop watching fucking Lost!…”

p.s. I never look good in hats. I spent 20 years looking for a hat that fits me across the world wherever I go, but I can never find one. Maybe I am just not meant to be wearing any particular hat.

crisis /ˈkrīsis/ Noun:
1. A time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger.
2. A time when a difficult or important decision must be made: “a crisis point of history”.

I turned Thirty Two a few weeks ago. “Oh &#!+,” I thought to myself, “I’m old.” Your age becomes no more than a number after it surpasses a certain number. Everyone has a different number. For me, it was 28.

I had a crisis when I turned 28. I freaked out. Why 28? I have no idea. Probably because that’s when my dad married my mom. I thought, just like him, I’d have everything when I turned 28 – a house, a wife, know what I was doing with my life, have enough friends close-by to never have to make new friends, know where I’ll live for the rest of my live…etc.

But I didn’t have any of that when I turned 28. I was living in a tiny apartment in Tokyo, in a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere, having second thoughts about where my career would take me, with the majority of my friends an airplane flight away, and puzzling over how long I could survive in a foreign land where I couldn’t speak the local language.

I had a daily routine of staring out the window next to my desk wondering why I was refreshing my inbox inside a building when the weather was perfect outside with a blue sky and so much life going on. As ridiculous as it may sound, the thought of not being able to enjoy the sun really bothered me. The fact that it bothered me so much probably had a much bigger implication than wanting to enjoying the sun – I wanted to enjoy life more, and being in an air-conditioned box wasn’t helping.

So I freaked out. Every night after work, on that 12-minute walk from the train station to my apartment, I would talk to myself in the head, trying to figure things out. And it didn’t work. Every night I’d end up in my apartment stressed out about my life. I had an awesome job, in a fantastic city, with adventures at every corner, but something was bothering me. I didn’t know where I was going, or rather, I didn’t know if where I was going was where I wanted to be.

I started drinking more, partying more. The summer of 2008 was filled with drunken forgotten nights and countless hangovers. I saw more sunrises than ever before, waiting for the first train at 5am to take me home. I made more one-off disposable friends than I could add on Facebook. I woke up not knowing where I was – thank goodness the city was safe.

But after months and months of this endless confusion. The daily struggle became a meditation. I started to understand myself more. I realized what I had was mostly my perception of what’s expected of me. And I found my desire to utilize my creativity outside of Excel spreadsheets and PowerPoints. The crisis was a trigger that got me started looking inside for a new direction.

And then things got better. Much better. I met my wife a few months before I turned 29. I figured out what I wanted to do not long after that.

But I’ll never forget all the confusion and sense of loss I felt the year when I turned 28. It has also become a benchmark. Whenever I have doubts about the decision I made to leave a life that was easy and comfortable, I remember why that wasn’t enough, and the recollection steers me back to what I need to do.

Crisis is good for you. Struggles and confusions are tools for you to know more about yourself. It pushes you out of your comfort zone and forces you to re-evaluate your circumstances. If Apple never had to come to face with bankruptcy, Steve Jobs wouldn’t have returned as CEO.

Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing. Like the first monkey shot into space. (- Fight Club)

So if you are in the midst of a crisis now, just know that it will always get better, and you’ll come out on top as a better person.

further reading: thanks to cold_water‘s suggestion, here’s an article by William Wang (CEO of Vizio) on surviving an airplane crash and new perspectives.

I’ve had this blog for over two years and I think it’s time to give it an overhaul. More changes are coming!

I didn’t know this would happen, but the journey of starting my own business has taught me more about myself than about business.

“The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.” – Bob. Lost in Translation.

And that was not in the plan. The plan was to outsource development, sell millions of copies, and get acquired by Google/Apple/Facebook/EA/Disney in a year. Fortunately, none of that happened. Instead of hiring out the development, I put my head down and learned to do it myself. Instead of selling millions of games and getting acquired, I assembled a small team and made great like-minded friends.

The MBA in me keeps wanting to go big and run fast, but the me in me keeps wanting to stay small, stay creative, and have fun. (Hey we are in the game business after all ) I would spend weeks and weeks drafting and perfecting business documents – executive summary, pitch deck, financial forecast, income / cash-flow statements, valuation, product proposal, cap table, surveys, market research…etc. I had a lot of experience in these before going on my own, and I don’t mind doing the work at all. But I always come to a point where I look back and think to myself, WHY? Didn’t I leave the corporate world to be more creative, and to work on things I love?

Maybe it’s the fact that spending time with spreadsheet gives me a (false) sense of security, a rare luxury for people outside the career track. Maybe I was addicted to talking to big names in the industry and feeling like being part of the circle. Maybe I was too used to dealing with numbers in millions, that dealing with numbers in thousands or even hundreds scared me. Going back to the old corporate tasks and habits was a way of protecting myself from all the uncertainties in starting and running a business.

And reading all the news about everyone raising millions of dollars everyday certainly didn’t help. I love TechMeme / HackerNews / VentureHacks as much as everyone else in tech, but the constant noises from the all-mighty Startup Universe was overwhelming. It made me feel like I wasn’t doing it right if I didn’t do it the way that everyone else was doing it. It made me anxious, stressed, and fearful.

Yeah. Not exactly what I had in mind. I didn’t start a business to make a shit load of money, so why should I care if Zynga is going IPO for an insane amount of money? (real money, not virtual coins) I wasn’t inspired by the noise, and couldn’t think of anyone that I’d rather be from all the startup stuff I was reading about.

I realized the people I draw inspirations from are great designers and artists, and not great businessmen. I put away the MBA hat and started looking inside. Who is Brandon Wu? What do I want? And most importantly, what do I believe in and what do I want to be?

Questions like these help me find a direction that I am happy with. A direction I can devote myself into, one that I can continue going forward even when things get tough, as they always do from time to time.

So what do I believe in? I believe in art, design, music, helping others, sharing good things in life, honesty, honesty in business, open communication, genuineness, creativity, fun, work / life balance, independence. And I believe if we are true to ourselves, good things will happen. I am going to make sure these beliefs are held at Studio Pepwuper and 30 Day Books. Why? Because “fake it until you make it” doesn’t work for me. Business is personal again, and the business needs to be a reflection of me, otherwise we lack authenticity, and we lose sight of what we set out to accomplish.

So before you make your next business decision, think about what you believe in. It might just change the way you see a deal, an opportunity, or a future.

p.s.

A video shot in the hospital from Lost in Translation in Tokyo. I went to this hospital to get my wisdom teeth removed (which cost me less than $10, but that’s a story for another day), and found myself surprisingly familiar with the building. When these little document transporting robots showed up, I realized I had found the hospital in the movie by chance. :)

If you spend enough time observing the game industry, you know there are primarily two markets – the traditional Core market, and the red-hot new Casual market of today. The traditional Core market has been in existence since the days of Atari decades ago. It has evolved from simple games with ASCII art to complex games with close to real-life graphics. Step into any GameStopand most games you see in the shop would fit into this category. They are complex, deep, visually stunning, and often focus on serving the Core gamer market – male from 18 to 35. You see a lot of shooting, fighting, sports, racing, fantasy/sci-fi, military/war, action/adventure games in this market today.

The new Casual games provide socially connected solo experiences on platforms everyone has access to – mobile and social networks. They often offer bite-sized gameplay, cute graphics, simple control mechanism, and hooks to keep players addicted. They are also low cost, often free, with the ability for players to purchase in-game virtual goods. You see a lot of city/farm/shop building games, along with plenty of puzzle, wedding, restaurants, word games. They appeal to the mass, and have done a great job introducing people who previous wouldn’t play games to the gaming world. 

However, I believe there’s a third market in-between these two that’s hasn’t been discussed enough – mainly, people who enjoy the easy-to-start, none-violent nature from Casual games, but desire the complex and engaging experience from traditional Core games. I call this the Premium Casual market. It’s the middle ground between Core and Casual. These are older gamers who grew up with core games but no longer find kill-everything-that-moves fun, recently converted casual gamers who want more than clicking and waiting for something to happen on a farm, a city, or a tower, or anyone who’s discovering the joy of interactive entertainment but haven’t quite found something for them.
 
And this is the market we’d like to serve. We want to combine elements from core games and causal games to create an experience that these people will enjoy. Are there games serving this market? I think games such as Flower, Worms, The Sims, Kart Riderare great examples of Premium Casual games. And as casual gamers continue to grow their appreciation for games and their appetite for better deeper games, I expect the Premium Casual market to grow and more developers to make games for this market.

Eventually the lines will blur as the industry continues to grow. I can’t wait for the day when the size of the game market equals the size of human population (minus the infants). Everyone will be able to find games that appeal to them. And I hope what we are making at Studio Pepwuper can contribute to this goal.

One the hardest thing I have to deal with everyday is to keep waking up early every morning and be energized and pumped for the day of work ahead. Working on my own projects and being able to manage my own time is a great gift, but it also comes with great responsibility – if I don’t get things done, no one is going to chase my tail and scream at me. Working on what I love is a great way to keep myself motivated, but the power of the constant pressure of running out of money and facing the unknown future can not be ignored. I found myself needing an extra shot of motivation every now and then when I feel lost. Here are some of the things that worked for me, and I hope they will continue working!